When your mind just won’t switch off

The other day I was working from home as I was expecting a delivery. I had a call from a parent regarding their son, which I took whilst completing a spreadsheet I needed to finish. I was multitasking because I had limited time to get some work projects completed, and I was also very aware of the college work waiting for me.

My mind was racing. I wanted to do everything perfectly because I am good at my job, I want to do well at college, and I never say no to anything that's asked of me.

Clearly, I think I am Superwoman.

My brain was working at 100 miles an hour; “I  need to get that spreadsheet updated by tomorrow. Mustn’t forget to look at the budget discrepancy before the meeting this afternoon. I need to record this call and feedback to my colleague. I must send out the invites for my son's birthday party. I haven't spoken to his grandparents this week. Did I book the dentist? I need to do the food shop later. We need milk and toilet roll. I'm sure I thought of something else we needed the other day — what was it? I must cut the grass, it's getting long. And what should I cook for dinner? Perhaps I can get something when I go shopping…"

Coming off the phone, my head was spinning, so I decided to go for a run.

I hadn't run for ages, but I suddenly felt the urge to go, possibly because I had so much nervous energy to burn. So I threw my shoes on and off I went.

As I ran, my brain went quiet.

The silence gave me space to think. As the tension began to melt away, my mind slowly started to work through what actually needed doing.

When I got home, I started a shopping list so I didn't need to keep remembering everything. I wrote down the bigger tasks so they didn't need to stay in my head either, and then I focused on the work that actually needed completing.

As a busy person, I'm often rushing through an endless to-do list, juggling work, study, family, friends and keeping a house running. At times, it can feel overwhelming.

Writing lists is a must for me. Once something is on the page, it's out of my head. I don't have to keep holding onto it because I know I can come back to it when I'm ready.

*When your brain won't switch off

Making time for yourself is important. When your mind is racing, sometimes what we really want is just for our brain to shut up.

Constant mental noise can become exhausting. It can make’s it hard to concentrate, leave us feeling less effective and eventually begin to affect our confidence and wellbeing.

We all have different ways of switching off. It might be listening to music, watching some mindless TV, reading, exercising or simply sitting somewhere quietly.

For me that day, it was running.

Exercise can be helpful when we're feeling overwhelmed or anxious, but not everyone enjoys exercise, and sometimes we simply don't have the time or opportunity. There are other small things we can do to give our minds a little breathing space.

One is the simple 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 grounding exercise:

5 things you can see

4 things you can feel

3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell

1 thing you can taste

It only takes a couple of minutes, but it brings your attention away from everything racing through your mind and back to what is happening around you right now.

Breathing exercises can do something similar. Even taking five minutes to step outside, get some fresh air or simply sit quietly can give your mind a chance to reset.

But sometimes the noise remains.

Sometimes there's so much going on in our heads that we're constantly trying to quieten our mind, or we find that however many coping strategies we use, it simply won't switch off.

Counselling can offer somewhere to unpack some of that noise. A space where you don't have to keep everything organised, hold everything together or have all the answers. Sometimes saying things out loud and exploring them with someone else can help us begin to hear ourselves amongst all the noise.

* Reading this a year later

I actually wrote this blog over a year ago but decided not to publish it.

Reading it again today, I was struck by how much my life has changed.

I've since found much more balance — largely because I changed my job.

Looking back, I can see that I was trying to find ways to cope with a life that was asking too much of me. The running, lists and grounding techniques helped, and I still value them, but ultimately I also needed to look at why I was feeling so overwhelmed in the first place.

Of course, we're not all in a position to simply throw away the parts of our lives that overwhelm us. Jobs need doing, bills need paying, families need looking after and responsibilities don't simply disappear.

But perhaps we can occasionally stop and ask ourselves:

• What is getting my energy?

• How much of it am I giving?

• And does everything on my list really need to be there?

Sometimes looking after ourselves isn't about finding another way to cope with everything.

Sometimes it's about questioning whether we need to keep carrying everything in the first place.