Emotional Backpack

I’ve enjoyed many walks around the Greenway in Letchworth on a mild summers day usually with friends or family. Imagine if you were to go on a long walk such as the `greenway; you strap a bag with supplies; food, water, hand sanitiser, purse and odd bits. As you walk from Standalone farm up the hill the walk becomes so steep, the bag is feeling so heavy, you keeping pushing yourself determined to make it to the park at the top so you can sit down and rest perhaps eat and drink. You feel so hot and the weight of your bag seems so much more than it has been before. Once at the park you find yourself a bench sit at.

After a little break once you have eaten and drunk you’re ready to set off again. You pick up your bag-it feels so heavy, heavier than you thought. You put it down and open it up to have a look at why its so heavy. Food, water, hand sanitiser, all the bits you expect, but even with everything taken out and on the bench the bag is still heavy. You look through the bag, search the creases where you find a key ring you’d forgotten, some pennies and an old tissue-nothing that heavy. You  notice an extra back pocket and open it-and there it is; a brick. You stare at the brick, confused at first because you don’t know why it’s there but then see the smirk on your friends’ face. Without knowing it he had snuck the brick in your bag.

My previous counsellor used to describe my emotional baggage as a literal bag that we could put down and go through together. We carry so much with us that we rarely consider where our little traits and the things that make us who we are have come from-good and bad. By looking at what we are carrying we can understand ourselves better. I know I have constant need to prove I am not stupid, it why I did a degree in later life, push myself at work and put pressure on myself to succeed. I know this comes from having problems with my eyes as a child, which meant I struggled at school when I was young, once my eyes were treated I was then playing catch up. The need to prove myself has never left me. And whilst this can feel negative, all the success I have in life, have come from that motivation.

We all have these nuggets of beliefs that come from different moment and influences. These nuggets make us who we are. They serve a purpose, but what if the purpose no longer serves us well and has become an obstacle to our happiness. This could be a past failure that prevents us from trying, comments about being beautiful that we have interpreted as your looks are all you have to offer.

Sometimes we have been carrying our emotional baggage around for so long we don’t realise the impact it is having on us or that we are carrying something that doesn’t belong in there-our own useless brick. Having someone to go through the bag with you can allow you to reassess what we actually need to keep with and whats no longer serving us, and like the brick doesn’t even belong to us.    

When you’re so weighed down by your emotional baggage and you’re on a long steep walk it can be hard to stop, empty it out and look at whats inside. By asking how you see yourself, is the view positive or negative. Where has that view come from, is it accurate? If the view of yourself is negative the chances are we are carrying a useless brick thats weighing you down.

A good counsellor can work with you at a pace that feels right, to focus on what you are carrying at that moment, where this has come from and its the purpose. By unpacking this bag you can feel better and able to make positive changes that can give you a sense of empowerment and ultimately lighten that load. Counselling offers a nonjudgemental space to bring about an understanding of yourself and issues that you are carrying. Even if you are not sure what you are carrying a good counsellor will support you to unpack and look into the creases, corners and extra pockets to find a sense of clarity and hope.